Date Smart!
Dating…one of the most mystifying
struggles of the teen life. In their book, The 10
Commandments of Dating, Ben Young and Dr. Samuel Adams teach
us a little bit about how to making dating work for you! Here’s
a little bit of what they say…
Commandment #1: Thou Shalt Get a Life
How to prepare yourself: figure out who YOU are FIRST!
Get grounded
Get grouped
Get goal-oriented
Get giving
Get growing
Commandment #2: Thou Shalt Use Your Brain
Always Avoid…
Emotion-driven Dating
Hormone-driven Dating
Pseudo-Spirit-driven Dating
Don’t shut your brain off when dating – you’ll need it!
Commandment #3: Be Equally Yoked
Avoid Unequally Yoked Dating
The Mother Teresa Relationship – No missionary dating
The Exotic Relationship
The Sugar Daddy Relationship
The Dennis Rodman Relationship
Your date needs to compliment you and lift you up, not drag you down!
Commandment #4: Take it Slow
Slow-Motion Strategies
Make your first date short
Don’t volunteer too much info
Delay physical affection
Stay connected with friends
Don’t mention the “M” word
Just because you “feel” like you’re in love doesn’t mean you are…so slow down!
Commandment #5: Set Boundaries
No one should push you around
Your MIND is yours
Your EMOTIONS are yours
Your BODY is yours
Commandment #6: Save Sex
How Do you do that? (When it seems so hard…)
Choose the BEST
Receive Forgiveness
Set clear boundaries
Stay accountable
Commandment #7: Don’t Play House
The Real Reasons People Live Together before Marriage
Fear
Sex
Manipulation
Immaturity
Commandment #8: Fight Fairly
Top Harmful Responses
Peace at all costs
Win/lose (defensiveness)
You don’t count (invalidation)
All-out war (intensification)
Commandment #9: Don’t Ignore Warnings
The Seven Deadly Signs
Abuse, Addictions, Infidelity,
Irresponsibility (Peter Pan)
How they treat others,
Emotional baggage, Denial
Commandment #10: Choose Wisely
Hints for Discerning Character
Crisis reveals character
Who are you when no one is looking
Prior Dating determines patterns of behavior
Dating is a tough thing to figure out, but there are lots of GREAT resources out there to help you along the way. For more info, check out the whole book along with many others out there!
Here at CI, we want to do everything we can to help you as you make some of the most critical decision of your life. If you have questions, comments, concerns, happy thoughts…please email Melissa at melissaw@lifechoices4states.org.